Jake, Lindsey & LillyAnn: 2011

So I have a goal; this being that I write on my blog...Seeing is that I spend ALOT of time at home alone because Jake works out of town I see this as a great way to 1. Get what is on my mind and my feelings out 2. To ask for peoples help thoughts and advice.

So please let me start with IF you are readying this please fill free to leave me comments on my post...even if I don’t know you and have somehow come across my blog... fill free to follow and leave your thoughts, advice and feelings.

SO post #1

Ok so I know that there are about 80,000,00 more people in this world that have it a lot harder than I do in life, however this is my place to point out what makes Lindsey’s life a hard. For those of you that don’t know my other half... Jake works for a tower tech company. Jake LOVES his job and I’m so very thankful that he dose love his job because there is nothing crummier then hating something that you have to do or go to more then you get to be at home! So for this...I am THANKFUL. But on the other hand I find myself some night in disbelief with how my life is, that might sound bad and could be 1000 other ways to put what I’m feeling but I’m being hones right? I guess if I was to look back 5 years I would have never thought this is where my life would be ... and I’m not saying that I’m not truly blessed and thankful, this is just not where I thought I would be. Where I thought I would be you ask.... let’s see 23 ummmm married, own a home, graduated from college and maybe start talking about having a family....sounds like every other 23 year old girl for the most part.

SO let’s start with the begging of that list.

* Married - Yes I love Jake with all my heart and there is not one thought in my mind that he is not the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. He is my other half and he has given me something no one else could have. My beautiful daughter. Trust me I drop hint...ok maybe there more than hints that I want to get married and or engaged would be nice. but I want it to be when it is right I don’t want to rush it I have my whole life with him and not any piece of paper is going to change that....but I just don’t want LillyAnn to look back and wonder or be sad that her parent were not married when we had her. BUT on the other hand I don’t want to tell her the only reason that we got married was because I was pregnant with her. (My personal feelings: NOT a reason to get married) ... but I hope to have a sparkling ring that is just waiting for me KAY jewelers. (Will post about this more at a later time)

* Own a Home - well I have a smoken deal from my parents, Jake and I live in a condo that my parents own... it is a sweet deal 425 a month for a 2bed 2 bath and a cute little closed of patio...this is a great place for us and such a amazing way for us to save money to buy a house. Jake moved around a lot as a kid and he does not want that for Lilly, we want her to grow up in the same neighborhood with her friends and go to school with them from elementary to high school...this is one thing my parents I’m so thankful did for my sister and I. So this will come for me not today or tomorrow or may before a few years but it is in my future and when I get to that point I will be just so happy!

Collage - Ok this is a touchy one... I’m beyond PISSED at myself for dropping out of cosmetology school it is my passion and it is something that I think I’m truly good at! I want to go back so bad but family is first and if that mean working to help support my family right now that is what I have to do. So I hope that I can go back in the next year a finish my hours!

Family - I would have NEVER thought that I would have had a baby at 23 ... but thing happen for obvious reasons. (Wink wink) I am so deeply truly blessed to have one of gods beautiful gift in my life. There is not a day that goes by that I’m just is a loss for word when I look at Lilly and just can’t believe she is MINE! Yes this did not happen as I thought would but I’m so glad it did. There are many night that go by that I take care of her alone and it is so hard ( getting back to the top of my post) Jake is gone 8 of 10 night with his family for work so needless to say it’s like I’m a single mom with an amazing income ;) Jake works hard for us and I get that but at the same time, it can be trying at times. I cry, get mad, get sad, angry, feel happy, and laugh when Jake is gone out of town. But I have to remember that I am fine WE are fine and that Jake loves me and Loved Lilly even more and he works for US his family! So after I have worked a 40 hr week and spend time with my little love, there is not much mommy time left but right now I’m 100% ok with that SHE is out number one and I would not have it any other way.

Ok well Lilly is asleep in my lap as I type and I need some cuddle time with my girl before it’s off to bed and then a new day. Hope if you are reading this you can maybe give me some insight and thought on how you thought your life would be and is because I know that no one’s life goes 100% like they planned.

Thanks for reading post #1,

Lindsey